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莫名的感覺。。

昨晚他從馬六甲回來。。
我去接他然後去做分享。。
我們除了工作就沒再談其他的了。

分享期間我認爲對方是不願意享用產品，
而卻本身也有很多產品。。。
我和他的出發點不一樣，
對方不需要我們的服務因爲對方有很多其他的產品，
全都放一邊，
很浪費。。
closing 2 times but rejected..
後來我換對象和話題來放鬆那個氣氛，
結果被他放狗屁。。。
讓他一個人坐在一旁是我的錯。。
please...tis is entertainment.....
i always face tis situation when meet his customers...
it's very common..
Don't know how he thinks...
weird!!!

many many conflict are happend yesterday nite
i duno who m i for him?
a downline?
yesterday nite i totaly cant feel tat im his fren or housemate..
there is a strong feeling tat v r like coleague...is very very serious n formal one..not friendly coleague
i cant stand his atitude!
v argued..
then finaly he voice out tat:"u bettter under ah gan!!"
im hot!!!!!
afterward, he called tat gf while im driving n hot..
v totaly dun hav any conversation on de way bek home
until morning till now......
he raely look different compared to last week
mayb i was cheated by him?
mayb i was utilised by him?
imposible sudenly cool down n change to another ppl
:-(

沉悶的周末。。。

星期五我拿了半天的假，
跟隨上綫和他去檳城了在趕去sp。。
結果讓簽到一位有potential downline,
這個小成就讓我恢復信心。。。
我一定行！！！
回到家鄉已是11點多了，
我向他報平安。。
但是感覺有點冷淡。
自從兩天前他就對我比較冷淡了。。。
不知何因？？

星期六我在家鄉，他在馬六甲。。。
很想和他聊天，但是我沒有那個機會，
因爲有她在。。。。。
其實我心裏很不好受，
但是我沒的選擇，
只能怪自己不比別人好和細心，
只能怪自己傻傻地喜歡人，
只能怪自己最後才遇到他。。。
所有都是自己自做自受。。。

我唯有把時間和思想都放在工作。。。
唯有盡量不去想他。。
把自己搞到很忙。。。
其實從工作方面我可以和他聊幾句，
就只是工作的問題，
想聊其他的都很難。。。

星期日的我也是如此過。。。
到了夜晚原本想收拾東西囘北海了。。。
結果在臨走前讓我簽購一小單的sales。。
縂算讓自己有點安慰。。。
在我分享的過程，他也在為事業打拼。。。
原本是件開心的事。。。
結果讓我有點失落的是她也陪同他做分享。。。

從一開始，
他讓我感覺到我和他都是以事業爲主而讓大家有了共同點才有了感情。。
而他只不過只是在家陪伴的伴侶。。
但是自從讓我知道她陪同他去做分享事。。
我的心頓時覺得我根本不算什麽。。
我覺得我並沒像之前想象中那麽強。。。

我開始沒信心了。。。
誰能讓我恢復自信呢？

星期一早上六點多開車會北海，
爲了替身，我喝了一罐人參精。
怎知一路上肚子疼到很厲害。。。
很想打電話給他，但是帕他不方便，會覺得我不體諒他所以就自己忍痛地加快車速。。。
上了三次廁所，一邊工作。。。
大約中午才發個信息給他，這個時間他應該出門了吧。。。

我在想如果我沒給他發個信息，
他會撥個電話給我嗎？
他是否有了她就忘了我？

真的希望這種日子趕快過去。。。。。。。

关于“爱情”，有人这样说……

1．香烟爱上火柴就注定受伤害，不要轻易说爱，许下的承诺就是欠下的债。
Cigarette is destined to be hurt if in love with Match. Don’t say “I love you” without thinking twice, for a promise hastily made turns out a debt forever owed.

2．如果你是我眼中的一滴泪，那我永远都不会哭，因为我怕失去你。
If you were one drop of tear in my eye, I would never cry in case I’d lose you.

3．女人善变的是脸，男人善变的是心。
Women have a capricious face, while men a capricious heart.

4．在爱的世界里，没有谁对不起谁，只有谁不懂得珍惜谁。
There is no “sorry” but remorse for not cherishing him or her in the world of love.

falling in love with some1 who is my dream guy but not available now...

很开心能遇见你。。。
虽然我们认识的日子很短，但是我们却经历很多很多别人不曾经历的。。。
一却都是由生活的点点滴滴开始，
经过一番你争我斗，
经过一番互相帮忙，
经过一番互相照顾，
经过一番互相关心，
经过一番互相倾述心事，
经过一番互相鼓励，
经过一番意外，
经过一番波波折折，
大家都不知不觉中被吸住了。。。
可能大家都是同样性格的人吧，
只要你开口说话，我就懂得你要说什么了。。。
在我伤心时，你很快地就发现我了。
我突然有一种感觉。。。
那就是你可能是我要找的人，
因为你是我见过那么多人之中最特别的一个。
很多方面我们都配合得来，
虽然我不敢肯定将来，
但是我希望我们将会有一条光明的道路。。。
我知道我们未必有结果，
我知道这条路会很难走，
我知道我可能会受伤，
但是我愿意尝试我前所未有的这些。。。
我相信你应该是值得让我赌一把的筹码！

我明白你有时身不由己，
我明白你也很难控制一切，
我明白你也是有矛盾的时候，
但是我相信时间和感觉会把大家的问题给解决。
我没要求什么，
只希望你明白我的心声。。。
我也会尝试去明白你的难处。。。

至今我都很模糊到底你那晚向我坦诚你对我的心声是对于否？？
如果大家都没开过口，
大家是否还是好朋友呢？
我们到底是对的开始还是错的开始？

为何爱情就那么为难人呢？
为何爱情可以痛苦也可以让你开心呢？
有缘遥远都能相聚。。。
无缘即使在身边也会分开的一天。。
我们到底是有缘还是无缘??
希望上天很快就给大家一个答案。。

真希望可以像其他情人般手牵手走街。。。。。。。。。
很想告述你我真的喜欢上你，
但是我必须考虑到你的压力，
我只好在这里告述你：“我真的已经喜欢上你了！”

谢谢你那么真心地对待我！！谢谢你对我的爱护！谢谢你的关心！谢谢你没有欺骗我！
我会珍惜一切！！！
Feelings are the most important thing ,character and behaviour.
Does she love you?Do you love her?
Mutual love is very difficult to be found so we should protect it and support it when it comes to our life.

my special sunday..

i came bek to sp on sunday nite..
i reach my hostel at 11.30pm..
he came sp from buterworth at 12am after worked..
1pm v went for supper 2geter with rouwen too..
v went nasi kandar since all the restaurant were closed..
ard 2am v went bek to blm..
v chating n chating..
Ooops...
4am...
OOoopsss...5am
my clas for 2mrw was 8am
i need to prepare at 7am..
he unwillingness to went bek to buterwoth..
he wana to send me to campus n waited me untill my class finished at 12pm..
so...
he was waiting at outside in car...
afterward v went tesco with zhili a while..
then, he sent me bek to blm..
4pm he reached buterworth n went to office..
6pm he bek home n slept for 2 hours..
8pm he came again to sp to meet me..
duno how to describe him la...
then v went village mall to eat secret recipe as our dinner
1030pm bek to blm again..
v chating at playground until 3am..
he went bek to buterwotth n i was starting to prepare my mif sem exam for 2mrw..
4am only slept..
the next day nit wic is tonite..
he comes here again..
hav dinner at autumn...
.........................
..................................
continue the content next tome bcoz stil duno the next story
hehe..

so touching...

v chating as usual juz now...
ard 5 hours 2nite
i asked a lot of questions to him
he stil love me even how i bad as i explain to him
i told him abt my past...my life...my secret...
he din mind abt my past..
but care abt my feeling for now..
his heart pain when im crying when express my past story n secret
im very touching..
i felt tat im a grey paper but he is a white paper..
he is too nice for me..
but he din care abt tat..
he said tat he juz love me..
he juz care abt future not past..
i felt tat im lucky to meet tis guy..
thx Mr.T to love me..
im starting to love u too..
but i wil maintain our frenship for now..
mayb very fast our frenship wil change into relationship..
soon..
ur expectation wil b achieved very fast...T

abt my decision..

cum bek to my love story again..
i decide to leave LMK..
wil acept Mr.T...but still testing his heart...haha
i test him..i wan 999 roses since i heard de song in his car 2 days ago
guess how he reply me??
he wil try to get it for me...
i said tat it is imposible bcoz too much the quantity
but he'l find method too
finaly he decides to separate the quantity into 9 roses per day....101 days wil complete
so........
im waiting n c how he loves me...
mayb 1 day i'l acept him when he realy done his task as he promised
hahaa....
monday, tuesday n wed he came sp to meet me from bw
thursday he din cum bcoz of work
everyday v comunicate via phone ard 5 hours
he tells me his daily tasks everyday..
he is a cute guy actualy bcoz he is so shy to express his feeling
but 1 thing i like on him is his responsibility on everything include love, work n family
realy a good guy...
but im still thinking n thinking abt .......bla bla bla
y? realy? match? suitable?
recently he keeping cal n meet me,
im feel sweet n happy too
but duno y i stil dun wan to acpet him.........

confusing abt the current love LIM MING KHANG

Mmmm...
how to describe him?
i know him in astro event during my work
im part time promoter..
he is organizer
uper level n lower level mgnt...
how to comunicate wit him
actualy im not dare to talk to him in begining
but..
he always smile n close to me..
sms n call me..
care my rest time..my lunch, dinner....during my work day
when im headache..he bought panadol for me..ask me drink more..
i know sumting wrong on him..not juz manager n employee between us..
i try to avoid..but
his action touching me
how..
i had bf b4 for 6 years
his exist damage me n tat bf
he told me his bad thing, sadness....
i juz counsel him as a fren for him
but..
he keeping finding me...meet me b4 n after work
1 day, i felt he is diferent
he is not so bad in deep
he mayb is gud bf
he told me everyting..
he alow me control him include his work even entertainment
he introduced me to his frens n collegeous
he brings me everywhere...even outstation
call me during working n driving
crying in front me
imagine a man wit good income can cry in front a gal..
how tat gal wil feel
im starting consider him n like him
im not so sure isz i had love wit him b4
but i can make sure tat i never cry bcoz of him
mayb our relationship not so deep
but tat past bf make me cry..
even nw, i oso can cry when thinking abt the past things
not bcoz im stil love him...mayb too long our relationship n v had love each other b4 n planing to marry..
ok...go bek to tis current LMK
he thrteat very very nice in the begining
im realy touching n try to accept him as my bf
aproximately 1 month plus...sumting changes
i always suspect him..ask tis n tat
v starting to argue
he din explain everything a lot even his personal life now
he juz asked me dun ask a lot dun ask a lot
juz say im busy..
so???
wat to do..
let it go
i wont contact him until he finds me
isz he is my bf now? or others?
but i can make sure tat i dun hav bf from now..
even v din break up yet bcoz he din say anyting yet
but in my heart...im single
lucky to know him or unluck?
im confused too


ANOTHER PART..
recently a guy Mr.T ...v keep contact everyday n every time
but juz fren la..
he know abt my situation too..
he also knows LMK
but not close
bcoz he also work in astro
duno v hav the chance to go closer??
no answer..
folow fate..
i dun wan to break the frenship in 1 day wit Mr.T
so i better maintain him as my fren enuf..
he threat me quite nice too la..
but stil not my 100% dream guy

to XX...

nice to meet u...
nice to know u...
i'm always happy beside u..
even i had a negative image on u...
but...
im starting to enjoy chating with u, joking with u, smile 2geter....
im realy apreaciate all the hapiness tat u bring to me...
hope all of tis wil non-stop in my life..
mayb...mayb..mayb...i alrd a bit a bit xxxx u...
sumtime will missing the moment v play 2geter..
at last, i wana advise u take care ur health...
i dun wan to c u not feeling well...
ok?? try to reduce ur bad habits..
actualy i duno wat should i do now...
sumtime realy duno how to face u n him..
wory abt my wrong action and choice..
wory i'l regret..
wory tis n tat..
so...
isz im doing the correct way?
isz gud for me?
hope sumone can assist me in settle the problem..
if i never touching heart...everyting will b fine

down down down~~ pain...

i love u>>>
love u too much until nearly lose u..
2 months ago u juz planing marry with me in tis end of year
u alrd discus wit parents..
both family arld agree
y sudenly change?
y everyting change after my exam n cny...
isz im too understand u until u cant face me???
if im blind, evryting wouldnt hapen..
y i like to think too much,...
y i like to check tis n tat?
y i force u to explain everything...
i hate myself...
i hate i inspect u..
y i always ask u tis n tat??
if i can do better..
if i can more care about u...
if i can listen to u, wat u needs..
if i try to listen...
if i try to satisfy u...
everyting wouldnt hapen
everyting are fine..
v'll marry soon..
but now...
i know ur bad things..
i make u cant face me..
i know tat u r regret n cant forgive urself..
but i alrd forgive u..
y u stil cant forgive urself
juz let the bad things passing...
i wil giv u time to adapt..
bcoz im stil love u even u did wrong..
plz dun think tat im very good n u r very terible..
nobody is 100% good..
every1 will do misrake in their life..
juz know how to turn back to "light way"..tats the most important...
i l0ve u..
i love u...
i know u want to be a good man in front of me...
but i can forgive u..
plz forgive urself so tat v can go back to past time..
im missing the memory...
HOPE U CAN RECOVER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE so tat v can love each other without any block and hurt...
i realy can forgive u..
plz forgive urself..
my family can forgive u too..